Party girl: Can you drink vodka if you're allergic to potatoes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to potatoes?
Party girl: No, I just wanna know.
Pretty boy: I don't know.
Party girl: Can you drink wine if you're allergic to grapes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to grapes?
Party girl: No...
--PATH
Overheard by: TR
Grad student: I'm signing up for squash classes. I like squash, even though it's messed up my tennis playing.
Gay coworker: Oh, I approve of all the racket sports. Maybe I should play squash, too, since my wrists are not firm. (laughs)
--NYU Meyer Building
Drunk 20-something man: Ow! It's cold out, ladies!
Teenage girl: You're drunk, mister!
--4th St & 1st Ave
Hard hat #1: How'd you know something was wrong?
Hard hat #2: Weak. Tired. Bleedin' out of my fuckin' shit. I knew something was wrong.
--Williamsburg
Overheard by: problems of my own
Young man: Sir, would you like my seat?
Old man grimly clutching pole: No no, I'll stand.
Young man: Are you sure?
Old man: Yes, thank you.
Young man: Well, okay.
Old man: It's not *just* about being macho. I am getting off at the next stop. (pause) It is about being macho, though!
--Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
College girl: What's the Irish bacon?
Waiter: It's like Canadian bacon.
--Lyric Diner
Woman leaving K-Mart: What the hell smells like piss?
(hobo with cart full of belongings begins to walk towards her and almost hits her)
Woman: You better watch where you pushing your fucking house!
--K-Mart
Overheard by: I love NYC!
Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!
--Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hi-D
Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.
--Key Foods
Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?
--32nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Publius
Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.
--45th St & Ave of the Americas
Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.
--Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads...
--Metro-North Rail
Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um... why is your legs trapped?
--Thompkins Square Park
Man in shorts on cell: Well, I think what happened is he lost his pinky because of the forklift. But that's not the point of this conversation, let's talk about me here.
--186th St & Bennet Ave
Overheard by: Rina
Girl: And she's so awkward on crutches, it's so annoying!
--Grand Central
Overheard by: MR T
Guy on cell: So he tried to kill a roach and broke his knee, and that's why he's on crutches for the rest of summer.
--Union Square
Mother to young son: Sweetie, don't trip and bust your head open. I don't have no duct tape to put it back together.
--Laundromat, 48th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Jennifer Piston
Blueberry salesman, as woman in crutches hobbles past: You hoppin', but you ain't stoppin'!
--Greenmarket
Man on cell: I need attractive girls with low self-esteem so I can tell them that I understand and then do horrible things to them. This is basic science.
--40th & 8th
Overheard by: 13Atlantic
Irate Wall Street guy standing in deli: Everything! Everything! I said "everything bagel," you fucking waste of life. (to other customers in line) He always does that!
--Beaver & William
Boy, watching Hannah Montana on screen: unless she's hanging from a rope, I can't be bothered.
--AMC 7, East Village
Overheard by: agreed
Female in red coat: It's, like, the Holocaust--get over it! I didn't even care about it when it first happened.
--Bobst Lobby, NYU
Overheard by: wow.
Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything... How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?
--Norfolk & Houston
50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?
--45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chuch
Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!
--14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: kenzi
Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.
--Park Slope
Overheard by: Alexis
Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting?
--Park Ave
Overheard by: bad idea
Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese.
--Book Signing, Cobble Hill
Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing.
--W Hotel Restaurant
Overheard by: Bob Leblaw
Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line!
--4 Train
Overheard by: also stepped over the line
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
--York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it's like... it's not that you believe in god, or you don't believe in god, but that you just don't care? I want that book!
--Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak's Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
--Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it's a very *artsy* ending--a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower... Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
--Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can't all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It's a literary reference, look it up!
--1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Guy to boyfriend: I think you're boring. I'm bored.
--W 15th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Thompson
Woman on cell: I got so bored at work that I started talking to my mosquito bite! I told it to stop making me itch.
--58th St & 9th Ave
11-year-old boy to friends: I'm not ready for death. It's boring. All you do is fly around in the air.
--7 Train
Kid to family, looking at camels: I'm just gonna come right out and say it: 'dis is really fuckin' boring!
--Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Tyler
Theology professor, after struggling with projection screen: This is Satan doing this to me.
--Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Crazy man with bullhorn: Hanukkah is for God, Christmas is for Satan!
--Fordham Plaza
Conductor: This is an uptown a train making all local stops. Yes, you heard right, all local stops. The e train is out of service today, as it is on a vacation to hell. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!
--A Train
Overheard by: Kirstie
Girl yelling to two friends across train: Jay-Z is like a devil worshipper. No, seriously, he's like a Freemason or whatever. They all are: him, Madonna, Britney...
--J Train
Seven-year-old tourist to mother: Are we going somewhere safe where the devil won't get me?
--34th & 28th
Man, approaching sink: Ugh, there's never any paper towels.
Friend, walking by sinks: I mean, I know my dick's not dirty.
--Penn Station Bathroom
Overheard by: Luke Wallis
Child, playing with friends: Shut up, goddam it! I said shut up!
Mother: Keep your voice down, mommy has a headache.
--6BC Community Garden
Overheard by: Sara
Bookish guy: What is a "well drink," exactly?
Friend: I'm not sure. I've never gotten a straight answer on that.
Bookish guy: I think the bartenders dump all of the liquor they have left over into a well, and they make the drink with that.
Friend: Yeah, that sounds right.
--L Train
Overheard by: WetBandits
Dude, looking at soups: What the hell kind of funny person puts bread in soup?
Female pal: It's Tuscan.
Dude, nodding sagely: Oh, well then.
--Park Ave & 54th
Overheard by: pumpkin
Guy: Why do men keep flirting with me?
Girl #1: Why do you think?
Guy: Is it because of my pants?
Girl #2: Because they're tight?
Guy: These are loose!
--Washington Square Park
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Page Summary
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overheardnyc : Wake Me Up When You Get to Semen [+0] - overheardnyc : I See You As More Of a Handball Guy [+1]
- overheardnyc : Core...Body Temperature...Dropping...Need...Hugs [+0]
- overheardnyc : Turned Out I'd Just Eaten Too Many Cherry Popsicles [+0]
- overheardnyc : This Cane Is Just for Style, Like Mr. Peanut. [+1]
- overheardnyc : But With a Tragic History [+0]
- overheardnyc : Some Houses Are Easier to Flip Than Others [+0]
- overheardnyc : Anatomically-Correct Wednesday One-Liners [+1]
- overheardnyc : Sometimes, Wednesday Uses One-Liners As a Crutch [+0]
- overheardnyc : Nice Wednesday One-Liners Finish Last [+0]
- overheardnyc : Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done. [+0]
- overheardnyc : Winesday One-Liners [+0]
- overheardnyc : Don't Read Too Much Into These Wednesday One-Liners [+2]
- overheardnyc : How Are Wednesday One-Liners Like Network TV, Alex? [+0]
- overheardnyc : Wednesdays Would Sell Their Souls for Some One-Liners [+1]
- overheardnyc : And Nothing Says "Sterile Environment" Like the Penn Station Restroom [+2]
- overheardnyc : Mommy Drinks to Forget You. [+0]
- overheardnyc : If Only We Had an Electronic Way to Figure This Stuff Out [+10]
- overheardnyc : Birthplace Of the Soup Renaissance [+0]
- overheardnyc : Fine. Now Explain the "I Fuck Men" T-Shirt. [+0]
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